Public Transportation

Tonight on the train I'm fairly certain the man next to me had on a wet suit.

Not damp business attire. I mean, for scuba diving.

Maybe he didn't get the memo that we're in a "cold snap" in my city right now.


.....Or maybe he did get the memo and he was using it as insulation.

"You just wait until you have children. I hope they're just like you!"

...or roommates.

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry about all of those times I would come into the kitchen and put my dishes into the sink instead of the dishwasher. You're right, it IS just as easy.

Dear roommates,

Please stop making me realize how much more I am like my mom than I'm ready or willing to admit just yet.

Love,
Murphy

Tales from The Office.

Sometimes I truthfully feel as though I work on the set of the Office. Today all of our phones and e-mail went down (as regularly happens) and the world has ended. As you can tell, I found something to entertain myself in the mean time, by updating my loyal readers (all, what, 3 of you?) on what happened.

Anyways - so the internet/phones go down pretty regularly for all of us. But, for some reason, this time, they went out for almost everyone. Except for one person. (at least, one person in my hallway). The girl whose office neighbors with mine. For this girl, the world has in fact not ended. Of course, the loudest person in the office, the one whose conversations I can hear with her door closed would have her phone still up and running, right?

ShamWOW!

On new years eve I watched an ad for the ShamWow. I have to admit, I became infatuated with the idea of it. So, my roommate and I just ordered 8, and a mop! I'm currently listening to her talk to an automated voice trying to sell us more things, like the Slap Chop! No thank you. She's a tiny little thing, but hearing her yell "NO!" at my phone is a great entertainment moment. Really, I just want the ShamWow, please.

On another note, I'm so tired of going on first dates it's not even funny. My latest fella told me last night "I'm not shallow, but last week I went on a date with this girl who was OBESE". Really, pal? Sounds like you're pretty shallow to me. So, at 11:30 when I finally ended the date (at a karaoke drag bar, where he talked about all his gay friends the whole time... I felt like it was that 'i can't be racist, i have black friends' sort of discussion) he got MAD and pouted. He wouldn't talk to me for a few minutes, and then, finally said "I can't believe you're ending the date this early". DUDE?! This was a 4 hour first date!! Get off my nuts, already.

I think I'll just stay single.