Alright, I'm probably going to give away enough details that if you think you know me, you'll know for sure after this post, but if I don't give details it won't be nearly as funny.
Let me just start by saying this. Facebook is a PUBLIC domain. All of your friends, and maybe even people who aren't your friends if you aren't smart enough to set your privacy settings right, can see what you say / post / do. I am TIRED of reading things about your breast milk production, your kids poopy diapers, childbirth, or how your kids balls never dropped so the doctor has to do a search and rescue mission to find them, seeing your stupid tattoos, and hearing your not so smart opinions, or looking at pictures of you with your clothes off. Yes, these are all thing I have ACTUALLY seen on facebook. I know, that just means I should probably take you off of my friends list, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to bitch about said things, or make nasty comments on them.
Flashforward to yesterday. An ex of a dear dear friend posted a picture of a new tattoo. On his stomach. Of a hot dog. And a fountain drink. While, I personally think this is one of those things he's later going to regret, I think it's great if he thinks it's great. But, I couldn't resist the urge to post a snarky comment. So I wrote "I really wish this hot dog had legs and arms, like the hot dog in the 'lets all go the lobby' theme song.". I was quite pleased with myself, and as I was chuckling to myself, I began to choke. On my own laugh. To the point of tears, and coughing and that awful 'what the hell am I even choking on' feeling came over me.
Oh Universe. You won that round.
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