Blue and yellow purple, poo?

My dog (also named Murphy, just to confuse you more) ate a box of crayons the other night. That's right, a whole entire box of crayons. He even colored on the ground a little bit for me. I like to think he was trying to draw me a picture.

Anyways, there is of course more to this story. A backround note that will be important to this story before I start: I am making an effort to give up alcohol this month to see if I can do it. Also, because I could use the diet and so could my wallet, but mostly to see if I can.

My mom and I had a conversation that day about how she thinks it's mean that I leave Murphy in a crate while I'm gone. I'd been leaving him out for short stretches (read: an hour) lately to start getting him used to freedom, and see if he could handle it. He'd been doing super (read: tricking me) so after she laid on the catholic guilt quite thickly, I decided to leave him out while I went to check out my friends new apartment. I was only planning on being gone about 2 hours, so it was not that much more time than usual. I let him out to potty, and then went on my merry way.

I got to my friends new place, and they (the catalyst and ones who convinced me to join them in the alcohol ban) had purchased a bottle of wine. I didn't want to do it because I knew only bad things could come of breaking my rule this early in the game, but I did because we were celebrating them moving into their first place together. So, I had a glass of wine. And that glass hit my hard. And then we decided to buy another bottle (because that's always a good idea). And I had another glass. And before I knew it, I'd been gone about 3.5 hours. It was definitely time to get home.

I returned home to an empty house (my roommate came home first and took the dog out), one eaten rug, one single lone crayon left, a drawing on the floor, and a puddle of pee by the back door. When Murphy really needs to go out and can't he gets destructive. I can only surmise that his anger towards his inability to get out to pee was only stronger because he knew peeing on my floor was different than peeing in his crate. Bet the little bastard wouldn't have even wanted to pee so bad if he had been locked in his crate. Who wants to pee in their own home? Anyways, I'm imagining two scenarios here. The first was he peed, felt guilty, and decided to draw me a picture but really really wanted it to be by the door so I would see it as soon as I came home. But then the crayons were too yummy, and lets face it, they break easy, so he just ate them instead. The more likely scenario is that my vindictive pup walked up the stairs, stretched tall to get the box of crayons off of my dresser, came downstairs, scribbled all over the floor, and then ate the crayons to hide the evidence. Afterwords, he decided he might as well pee everywhere just to prove his point.

He pooped rainbows for 3 days. I couldn't even be mad, it was too funny. I'm sure there was a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow somehow, right?



PS, I know your one question from this was "Why did you have crayons in the first place?". I like to color, okay?